I wouldn’t agree so much with Joe Kool on the productivity of this sundown… I did manage to get the tutorial, the outline of the assignment and some reading up of basics done (although I’m still way behind).

So it’s straight hours of brain whacking from midnight till sunrise, and to top it all off, a healthy breakfast of McD’s Hotcakes with Sausage. I was being sarcastic about the healthy thing. Still hates McD. Evil Empire it is. What’s the other evil Empire?

It’s more of a cult/teaching/evil scheme kinda thing. It’s called MLM. And now it’s taken many disguises.

I don’t know if I’ve talked about this before. But I’m gonna do it again, since it’s been my fuse blower for quite some time now, especially with the ‘not so recent’ job hunts.

MLM: Evil in Disguise.

I have friends who are in MLMs, and most of them, especially the early ones, are very successful. Now I’m not an expert so my description of MLM might just be a little off. But I have the main idea, and I see it’s evil.

Traditionally, MLM businesses would start with the top man, or as I would call him, “Evil Master Warlock”. He would sell something, which most of the time is a very unnecessary yet extremely overpriced life improvement product, to his close contacts and friends who are bought over by somewhat skilled salesmanship and sweet words. Let’s call the process “enslaving of evil minions”.

These minions were once good people, like friends you would hang out with, or even family who you used to look up to and respect. Hell, it could even be your own Mom or siblings. They would lead normal happy lives till the Evil Master Warlock approach them about something like a “magnetic pillow” or a “health improving water filter”. He would advertise the product from a standpoint of a ‘friend’. He would use personal terms and sweet talk you into buying the product, not just for its ‘miraculous medical benifits which are unexplained even by scientists!’ but for the easy money making journey the buyer would embark once he/she buys the product.

So once the buyer buys the item, his priority would probably be 20% believer that it really works, and 80% on how to sell this garbage to more people to make lotsa money from them.

They have been turned to the dark side. Yes, it’s true that they believe in their guts that the product works 100 percent. That’s solely because of the brainwashing they had. “Use it for yourself, let it speak for itself. See the miracles happen for yourself and you’ll automatically have the tools and knowledge to sell it to other people.” That’s what they’ll be fed with. Lies and Garbage. (not the band garbage, they’re cool)

Once they’ve become Evil Minions, they start spreading the tumour, the cancer of MLM.

And you, the innocent bystander, will not be spared. Old acquaintances give you a call all of a sudden, and when you think they really want to get in touch with you for social reasons, they slam you with an awesome money making deal, which they claim is so good, that they, as a ‘friend’ (yeah! Suddenly you’re their good friend!) would not pass the chance to introduce the scheme to you.

And maybe, suddenly, your sweet loving mother receives a visitor from an old primary school friend (no doubt). She’ll be fed the same lies about some impurity filtering water system which simply provides something equivalent to distilled water. It costs a whopping $2K. All of a sudden you hear that the Singapore water system is actually responsible for 90 percent of diseases today. All of a sudden the tap water we’ve been drinking for our entire lives is actually dirty, and full of harmful chemicals that will KILL you!

And your sweet loving mom, being the concerned-for-her-family’s-wellbeing mom, squandered her savings (and even asked for money from her working sons) to feed her “friend’s” thirst for money.

Yeah, you get a big ass water filter in your kitchen that makes plain water taste ummm.. plainer.
And when you’re having supper with your friends at a coffeeshop, an old Satay vendor you used to buy from approached you with some miracle pills from China. Stating that he’s got so many people satisfied with it. And you learnt that he’s even given up the satay business for this ‘miracle’ pill.

The evil minions roam the world. All the way to the middle east, Indonesia, Malaysia, and maybe India.
The companies I was tricked into visiting was run by some very attractive people. They wore suits, ties, very nice professional looking attires to mask their true nature of money sucking and mind manipulating. Then their boss will sit down with you, take out a piece of paper, and start drawing little circles and suddenly they’re expert on life management, telling you to take control of your life, seize the opportunity, and whatever nonsense.

MLMs now take the shape of an employment agency. Instead of going house to house to sell to friends and family, now they look for part timers and jobless people to train to be their minion army. It must have been more efficient to them. It’s like comparing an army of farmers and townsfolk to an army of fully trained and equipped soldiers.

Some ridiculous things they’ve said to me are:

1.
3 things that are vital to good health: Exercise, Diet, and Sleep. People are lazy to exercise and diet, but they’re never lazy to sleep. So, MAGNETIC pillows and mattresses to help improve their Health! And yes! CURE CANCER! YAY!

2.
“You must have the goal of becoming your own business owner. Everyone must start from the ground, and some people only spend 1 week at sales before becoming a manager.”

3.
How much you make is entirely up to you. If I give you 20% of the product turnover, which cost 1000 dollars each, and you sell 10 of those, you get 2000 dollars INSTANTLY! But if I give you 100% of the turnover, and you sell 0 units, then you still get nothing.

4.
We’re a very established company! (The office is down to bare essentials of cubicles, and nothing else. Uncarpeted floor, unfurnished, it’s fuckin empty.)

5.
We’ve been featured in the news! (they all show only ONE piece of article from Straits Times that shows the magnetic pillow shit. And even then, there’s one whole column stating that doctors and scientists are skeptical)

6.
This technology is very accepted in Japan! Everyone’s using it! (I researched, Japanese people aren’t so stupid. The company they claim to be producing these products is actually bogus)

7.
Look! Irene Ang buys our products! (The guy shows a picture of him and Irene Ang, and that’s it. Hmm, solid proof indeed)

8.
“Research shows that it’s very effective to boost blood circulation!” He said.
“Research by who?” I asked.
“Ummm.. we did some research.. yeah… hmm… CURE CANCER!” He answered.

9.
We have very advanced facilities to train you. We even got a DVD player. (I look around the empty office and saw a bigger cubicle with a standing whiteboard, TV, “Enzer” Dvd player, and some rickety plastic chairs. Very advanced indeed)

10.
We have professionals from China and Japan to train you! (Shows pictures of old Ahpeks and Aunties on the wall. Looked like a page from the orbituaries.)

Ah! I’ve had it with MLM and its likes! Whatever name you call it, it’s still the Ultimate Evil Empire bent on brainwashing and moneysucking!

Say NO to MLM. And whenever possible, kill their minions and their leaders!

Visit MLMWATCH

LOOKIE! It’s a Autobot Transformer! In a Super4 form! This guy’s done up his bike real cool. I’m still hoping one day, mine will fall on my lap. But if that were to happen, my legs would’ve been crushed.

Too tired now. Today was packed.
1. Interview
2. Bike shop blues
3. Dental man! Dental!
4. The coffee shop

Tomorrow’s plan?
1. Interview 2
2. Jam!!!
3. Dinner with HBz
4. Who knows right?

More later!

If you have channel 8 from Malaysia. And if you have school on two out of five days, or a similarly slack lifestyle, then do tune in to that channel from the moment you wake up to watch and listen to a very fun radio show hosted by Fara Fauzana and Faizal.

I don’t know if all radio deejays are this crazy. They’re probably just being hyperactive since there’s a camera following them while they’re on duty in the studio.

But it’s cool to see what goes on behind a radio station and their ‘fun and always happy’ deejays. From what I see, being a deejay looks damn fun. It makes work look like… not work. Just watch what you say and play whatever you want to play. Some jobs are just so nice.

Oh, did I say there’s Fara Fauzana? Yeah, it sure perks your morning as you drink coffee and flip through that morning paper, or surf the morning updates on the net.